1794: Part 11 & Some Notes on Perfectionism

Good evening dearest readers!

Sorry about not posting Part 11 last week. I admit I was not super eager to publish it, even though it was all ready to go. I was just in a self-pitying mood and didn’t think the part was good. Just fyi, this is not a good reason to skip out on stuff! I’m still working on my perfectionism (as in, telling it to take a hike once in a while) because it can just drain the life and fun out of and never makes me feel good, and I don’t want that anymore. That’s the thing with perfectionism, it’s like an eating disorder, nothing you do will be enough for it, it will always want more from you, which is unhealthy, so if your finding your perfectionism is a problem for you or bothers you, that’s something worth looking at and working on.

So, I guess that got in my way last week. I don’t know how much more wisdom I can give on that, if any of you struggle with this… I suppose, quite simply, when I started breaking away from Perfectionism, I went about it cold turkey: after university, I just stopped doing everything. I didn’t write much, I read a bit, and basically just worked at my summer camps. This got Perfectionism mad because it hated that! It wanted me to devour the 20 books I had recently purchased because I had to, and I had to write that novel I wanted to, and work and be the best version of myself all the time! See, it’s tiring, and I didn’t want to keep up with it’s demands. So I did the bare minimum, which is what I needed to just chill Perfectionism out for a while. Then, when I started writing and reading again, I didn’t listen to it’s voice creeping back in, whispering its high standards to me in my ear (“you have to constantly be reading because you need to get through those books, you have to finish 1794 by mid-2017, god you’ve been so lazy since you graduated UNB you need to pick up the pace” etc.), and just went at my own slowed-down pace. Haha, as you can tell, we’re past mid-2017, and 1794 is kind of far from done! But I’m okay with that. Cool as a cucumber. ^_^

In any case, I’m feeling better now and I want to continue with this story. I won’t write anything else here because I don’t have much else to report… Just that Jack is going to visit next Wednesday for four days (yay!!) so I’m looking forward to that, and in the meantime just writing, getting back to drawing, working at the gallery, and spending good times with my family! Alright, let’s give way to the story:

Here is the link to Part 11.

From my August Kings Landing visit at the Perley House

See you next week! Don’t worry, Mary will get better sooner than you think… #staytuned

Nikki, xoxo



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